Suicide
By Jason LaRose
The magazine glistened with Militec. One as he twirled it around in his hand. He glanced to his right staring at
the forty-five as it rested, the barrel cocked awkwardly across the seat of his car. The reflection of the setting
sun ran like water across the handgrips and down the curve leading to the back of the hammer.
A confused smile suddenly strung itself across his face while he cocked his head to the left and stared at the
empty clip in his hand.
His sturdy blue pants and button down shirt were battered and torn in several places. Blood from his shredded
knees trickled down his legs and into his shoes. His tie was off now and draped over his shoulder. The five
o'clock shadow spread itself across his dirty face as the tear marks streaked down his pale cheeks.
The rays of purple and red shot across the sky like ribbons only to be broken by the occasional cloud.
Odd thoughts started to race through his mind. He pondered how funny it was that he could see his house from
this vantage point on top of the cliff and how he heard this exact phrase from countless movies he saw
throughout his lifetime.
He reached for the first bullet and snapped it quickly into the spring-loaded pad.
"click."
He thought how easy it could be. Just one bullet is all it would take. Slide the hammer back and press the barrel
hard into his forehead, the skin above his eyebrows rippling from the pressure of the steel. A quarter of an inch
in one pull and his mind would be scattered in a flash of crimson across his Crown Victoria.
He snapped the second bullet into the clip.
"click."
Maybe he should put the gun in his mouth. He pictured his teeth clanking on the tempered metal as the muzzle
rested steadily just above his tongue. The tangy taste of steel forced his saliva glands to erupt. Ease the
trigger back. The bullet flashing through his brain so fast, would he realize his eye sockets have just been
severed and his vision fail before his mind slipped into blackness? Would they find the bullet that plummeted
through the roof of his car and into the setting sky?
His hands shaking now, it became difficult to load the next three bullets into the magazine.
"Click, Click, Click"
Sweat burrowed its way out of his pores and slid down his face only to be trapped by his eyelashes. Put the
gun against your temple. That's it. Smell the oil drifting its way into your nostrils. "Try and pull the trigger twice
real fast." He thought "Has that ever been done before?"
The gray matter would explode out of his temple like a water balloon bursting. His head now split open would
slump against the steering wheel forcing it to blow for what could be hours.
The sixth, seventh and eighth bullets slid in easily. He paused between each one to take a breath and wipe his
forehead of sweat with his wrist.
"Click. Click. Click"
"Why did it have to be?" His mind repeated over and over.
"Why not someone else? I can't handle this....I always knew I never could." He slid the magazine into the pistol
and popped the slide closed.
His thoughts were interrupted by a loud thud. He glanced in the rearview mirror to see a police officer stepping
out of his car.
"dam." He said under his breath as he stuffed the pistol in the crack of his seat. He snatched the tie from his
shoulder and tossed it to the floor.
The officer casually strolled to his passenger side window and motioned for him to roll it down. He complied.
"David...." The officer said with a long look on his face "Are you okay after what happened today? Me and the
guys back at the station were worried about you."
"I'll be fine Frank." David said in a sturdy voice as he glared straight ahead.
"Your sure now?" he squeaked as his eyes widened and his forehead wrinkled.
"Yes...I'm sure."
"Well just remember that we are here for you if you need anything." Frank showed kindness and concern in his
voice.
"I know Frank. It will all work out in the end." David said softly as he glanced in his direction.
Frank patted the side of the window frame as he turned to walk away.
"You know if it helps at all....my wife left me too a few years back...took the kids just like yours. File the
paperwork and see if you can get your kids back. We have all seen some serious stuff out here and I know it's
hard. It's hard for all of us but somehow we pull through. I'm sure you will too."
David didn't respond. He stared straight ahead glaring out into the darkening sky.
"It'll be ok Dave...hang in there."
David watched as Frank walked back to his cruiser and popped open the door. Frank stopped for a moment
and looked back in a knowing manner. David stared through the mirror as the car rocked when shifted out of
reverse and sped away.
As soon as the cruiser was out of site David clenched the handle to his door, took one deep breath and
slammed it open. He stepped out a little and leaned in to snatch the forty-five from his seat. As he fixed his shirt
and tied his shoes he could feel his heart thumping faster. He shoved the pistol into the front of his pants and
strode to the back of his cruiser. He clenched the back of the trunk and popped it open.
Inside laid his wife and her boyfriend. Her mouth gagged with Duct tape and her hand bound behind her back
with his standard issued handcuffs. The boyfriend lie there weeping like a child also bound and gagged.. David
smiled with teeth showing.
"You think I need this?” David screamed as his wife glared at the gun in his pants. Her eyes spewing tears she
began to cough and choke on her own saliva.
"I will NOT hesitate in shooting him in his face in front of you! You can watch him die right here. DO YOU HEAR
ME?" His eyes filled with rage as he screamed in her face.
The boyfriend struggled to free himself, thrashing about the truck flailing his legs wildly. David yanked the gun
from his slacks and shoved the piece against the duct tape that constricted his victim’s mouth. The man
collapsed into the trunk with a quick limpness about him.
"Now you listen to me. You're going to watch your new man die." he whispered with a crazed look in his eyes.
Her muffled scream filled the surrounding area as he grabbed her hair and yanked her from the trunk. Her
body hit the dirt with a loud slap. She sobbed as he struggled to move the boyfriend from the truck and
propped him up against the wheel of the cruiser. David snatched his wife by the hair again and with a painful
wrench he pulled her to her knees.
Time seemed to slow down as he grasped the pistol in his hands. He adjusted his grip nervously as his eyes
darted back and forth between his prisoners.
"I always thought you loved me Rebecca. I never thought you would do this to me. I deal with the scum of the
earth everyday so I can provide for this family. And you have the balls to go and sleep with Frank's brother
Stephen? Franks BROTHER? My best friend's brother! Don't worry you will live through this to see what you
have done. I don't give a dam....they won't catch me. I know where to go. Now your conscience will have to deal
with this."
His left hand reached across his right and snapped the sleeve back slamming the hammer of the pistol in the
ready position. David took aim at Stephens’s head. He clenched his eyes closed for a moment and jerked his
arm down and fired. The blast made David jump as the bullet shattered Stephens elbow. His arm jiggled from
the shot and his shirt glowed from the blast of gunpowder.
Stephen's constrained scream was so loud that it could have competed with the prior gunshot. Rebecca lay
silent on in the sand tears flowing from her squinted eyes.
David got down on his knees and slowly lowered himself to the ground directly in front of his wife's face.
"Tell the kids I love them. I wasn't going to kill him. You can both regret this....forever...what you have done to
me." He said as he placed the gun slowly into his mouth.
The shot echoed off of the cruiser as the blood sprayed across the ground as if it were thrown from a paint
bucket. It sent a sharp ring through his wife's ears.
The sounds of police cruisers in the distance interrupted the long silence.
Frank was too late.
JASON LAROSE
By Jason LaRose
The magazine glistened with Militec. One as he twirled it around in his hand. He glanced to his right staring at
the forty-five as it rested, the barrel cocked awkwardly across the seat of his car. The reflection of the setting
sun ran like water across the handgrips and down the curve leading to the back of the hammer.
A confused smile suddenly strung itself across his face while he cocked his head to the left and stared at the
empty clip in his hand.
His sturdy blue pants and button down shirt were battered and torn in several places. Blood from his shredded
knees trickled down his legs and into his shoes. His tie was off now and draped over his shoulder. The five
o'clock shadow spread itself across his dirty face as the tear marks streaked down his pale cheeks.
The rays of purple and red shot across the sky like ribbons only to be broken by the occasional cloud.
Odd thoughts started to race through his mind. He pondered how funny it was that he could see his house from
this vantage point on top of the cliff and how he heard this exact phrase from countless movies he saw
throughout his lifetime.
He reached for the first bullet and snapped it quickly into the spring-loaded pad.
"click."
He thought how easy it could be. Just one bullet is all it would take. Slide the hammer back and press the barrel
hard into his forehead, the skin above his eyebrows rippling from the pressure of the steel. A quarter of an inch
in one pull and his mind would be scattered in a flash of crimson across his Crown Victoria.
He snapped the second bullet into the clip.
"click."
Maybe he should put the gun in his mouth. He pictured his teeth clanking on the tempered metal as the muzzle
rested steadily just above his tongue. The tangy taste of steel forced his saliva glands to erupt. Ease the
trigger back. The bullet flashing through his brain so fast, would he realize his eye sockets have just been
severed and his vision fail before his mind slipped into blackness? Would they find the bullet that plummeted
through the roof of his car and into the setting sky?
His hands shaking now, it became difficult to load the next three bullets into the magazine.
"Click, Click, Click"
Sweat burrowed its way out of his pores and slid down his face only to be trapped by his eyelashes. Put the
gun against your temple. That's it. Smell the oil drifting its way into your nostrils. "Try and pull the trigger twice
real fast." He thought "Has that ever been done before?"
The gray matter would explode out of his temple like a water balloon bursting. His head now split open would
slump against the steering wheel forcing it to blow for what could be hours.
The sixth, seventh and eighth bullets slid in easily. He paused between each one to take a breath and wipe his
forehead of sweat with his wrist.
"Click. Click. Click"
"Why did it have to be?" His mind repeated over and over.
"Why not someone else? I can't handle this....I always knew I never could." He slid the magazine into the pistol
and popped the slide closed.
His thoughts were interrupted by a loud thud. He glanced in the rearview mirror to see a police officer stepping
out of his car.
"dam." He said under his breath as he stuffed the pistol in the crack of his seat. He snatched the tie from his
shoulder and tossed it to the floor.
The officer casually strolled to his passenger side window and motioned for him to roll it down. He complied.
"David...." The officer said with a long look on his face "Are you okay after what happened today? Me and the
guys back at the station were worried about you."
"I'll be fine Frank." David said in a sturdy voice as he glared straight ahead.
"Your sure now?" he squeaked as his eyes widened and his forehead wrinkled.
"Yes...I'm sure."
"Well just remember that we are here for you if you need anything." Frank showed kindness and concern in his
voice.
"I know Frank. It will all work out in the end." David said softly as he glanced in his direction.
Frank patted the side of the window frame as he turned to walk away.
"You know if it helps at all....my wife left me too a few years back...took the kids just like yours. File the
paperwork and see if you can get your kids back. We have all seen some serious stuff out here and I know it's
hard. It's hard for all of us but somehow we pull through. I'm sure you will too."
David didn't respond. He stared straight ahead glaring out into the darkening sky.
"It'll be ok Dave...hang in there."
David watched as Frank walked back to his cruiser and popped open the door. Frank stopped for a moment
and looked back in a knowing manner. David stared through the mirror as the car rocked when shifted out of
reverse and sped away.
As soon as the cruiser was out of site David clenched the handle to his door, took one deep breath and
slammed it open. He stepped out a little and leaned in to snatch the forty-five from his seat. As he fixed his shirt
and tied his shoes he could feel his heart thumping faster. He shoved the pistol into the front of his pants and
strode to the back of his cruiser. He clenched the back of the trunk and popped it open.
Inside laid his wife and her boyfriend. Her mouth gagged with Duct tape and her hand bound behind her back
with his standard issued handcuffs. The boyfriend lie there weeping like a child also bound and gagged.. David
smiled with teeth showing.
"You think I need this?” David screamed as his wife glared at the gun in his pants. Her eyes spewing tears she
began to cough and choke on her own saliva.
"I will NOT hesitate in shooting him in his face in front of you! You can watch him die right here. DO YOU HEAR
ME?" His eyes filled with rage as he screamed in her face.
The boyfriend struggled to free himself, thrashing about the truck flailing his legs wildly. David yanked the gun
from his slacks and shoved the piece against the duct tape that constricted his victim’s mouth. The man
collapsed into the trunk with a quick limpness about him.
"Now you listen to me. You're going to watch your new man die." he whispered with a crazed look in his eyes.
Her muffled scream filled the surrounding area as he grabbed her hair and yanked her from the trunk. Her
body hit the dirt with a loud slap. She sobbed as he struggled to move the boyfriend from the truck and
propped him up against the wheel of the cruiser. David snatched his wife by the hair again and with a painful
wrench he pulled her to her knees.
Time seemed to slow down as he grasped the pistol in his hands. He adjusted his grip nervously as his eyes
darted back and forth between his prisoners.
"I always thought you loved me Rebecca. I never thought you would do this to me. I deal with the scum of the
earth everyday so I can provide for this family. And you have the balls to go and sleep with Frank's brother
Stephen? Franks BROTHER? My best friend's brother! Don't worry you will live through this to see what you
have done. I don't give a dam....they won't catch me. I know where to go. Now your conscience will have to deal
with this."
His left hand reached across his right and snapped the sleeve back slamming the hammer of the pistol in the
ready position. David took aim at Stephens’s head. He clenched his eyes closed for a moment and jerked his
arm down and fired. The blast made David jump as the bullet shattered Stephens elbow. His arm jiggled from
the shot and his shirt glowed from the blast of gunpowder.
Stephen's constrained scream was so loud that it could have competed with the prior gunshot. Rebecca lay
silent on in the sand tears flowing from her squinted eyes.
David got down on his knees and slowly lowered himself to the ground directly in front of his wife's face.
"Tell the kids I love them. I wasn't going to kill him. You can both regret this....forever...what you have done to
me." He said as he placed the gun slowly into his mouth.
The shot echoed off of the cruiser as the blood sprayed across the ground as if it were thrown from a paint
bucket. It sent a sharp ring through his wife's ears.
The sounds of police cruisers in the distance interrupted the long silence.
Frank was too late.
JASON LAROSE
New Hampshire Writers Short Stories
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